BREAKING: Gabby Schultz Doesn’t Lose Bets

BY KATIE JONES, The Boston Globe

Gabby Schultz isn’t your average committee director. She loves her delegates, but she also knows how to crack the whip when she needs to.

Gabby Schultz, Director of UNEP, and lover of all things Noah Cominsky.

“Some of the delegates stayed up really late last night. They need to finish on time, but I guess my deadlines are too harsh,” Schultz laughed. “I’m a strict girl.”

For Schultz, there’s only two things a delegate needs to be successful in her committee.

“All I’m asking for is common decency, and above average working papers,” said Schultz.

When Schultz began to write the background guide for UNEP, she emphasized a passion for the environment and policies to protect it. Now, that’s all changed.

“I’m really into fossil fuels now,” said Schultz.

Environmental protection to fossil fuels…we’ll have to simply wonder where things changed.

While Schultz may not have a decisive opinion on the future of the environment, she does have an efficient work ethic. With a whole summer to write the background guide, Schultz knew that three months was more than enough time to produce a measly guide for delegates.

“I actually spent about two weeks in October writing it. After the summer. And…after the August 31 deadline,” said Schultz.

Outside of committee, Schultz wanted to clarify to The Boston Globe that she has the hots for Noah Cominsky.

“I LOVE Noah Cominsky. He wears an earpiece at conference. I’m a sucker for a man in a suit, what can I say?” swooned Schultz.

Besides winning a bet against Noah Cominsky, Schultz wants to take a moment to thank her mom for the Valentine’s Day package she hasn’t picked up from the mail center yet, as well as Press Corps Director Yash Kumbhat for the feature story (Yash loves you too, Gabby).

The Boston Globe would also like to note that during an interview with Schultz, a colleague walked by and asked Schultz, “Are we getting drunk tonight?”

Schultz casually looked up at her colleague, responded with a simple yes. So suave, so cool. They high-fived, and the passerby went on her way – we’ll be covering where Gabby ends up later tonight.

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